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Hardest Job
No one will ever convince me that parenting is not the hardest job on the planet. I have raised too many children to see things differently. But because of all the children I have raised or helped to raise (7 and counting), I also know that there are countless strategies to make the job far easier and more peaceful.
Healthy Start
I was privileged to work with Healthy Start as a family therapist for several years. This is easily the most important and valuable service I have ever seen for new parents.
We interviewed new mothers at the hospital; if the new mother wanted home visits, I and a paraprofessional would visit her and the babe once a week for three years. We came loaded with parenting advice, activities for the baby, knowledge of developmental milestones, developmental tests, and a compassionate ear.
Often, we were asked to attend family meetings, that included Dad, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc., to facilitate and offer advice and education on parenting issues.
It is often said that we need to take hours of drivers’ education to get our driver’s license, but we are encouraged to have children with no parenting education. Healthy Start was the parenting manual that all new parents need at least occasionally.
Personal History
Before I had my daughter, I had only babysat a couple of times. But, I had read all the parenting books. I was certain I knew what I was doing because of the many books, because of all the wonderful women who showered me with advice, and because many people advised that maternal instinct would just kick in and I would miraculously know what I was doing.
BUT, I was very wrong. My daughter had colic and cried a great deal during the first year. My dreams of having this darling child snuggled contentedly against my neck, were, most of the time, a complete fantasy.
I felt like a terrible mother…a total failure. The constant crying and my unrelenting stress caused big tensions to arise between my husband and myself. I asked my doctor what to do, and he prescribed paregoric. I thought the medicine was to help her digestion, but it only took a couple to days to realize it was a sedative that knocked my girl unconscious for hours. That was the end of that strategy.
The point of my story is that a home visitor would have helped me, my daughter, and my husband immeasurably. My goal is to provide a Healthy Start-like support for you and your family (even the home visiting part!).
PRE- AND PERI-NATAL SUPPORT
I also offer pre- and peri-natal support. Science is now telling us that babies are far more aware in utero than was ever previously imagined. For instance, you might want to watch what you say, because at five months babies begin to hear sounds outside the womb very clearly.
Many people know of the enormous advantages of playing music for your fetus and talking to him, but few know that you can begin to educate your child long before birth.
Birth Trauma
Another important part of my work with a pregnant mom is the clearing of any trauma she may have experienced during her own birth. Science is finding that forgotten birth trauma can be relived during hypnosis.
Research is also uncovering the fact that traumas experienced before and during birth have life-long, measurable effects. For instance, a child born with the cord wrapped around her neck may have aversions to scarves, turtleneck sweaters, or anything closing around her neck.
Forceps deliver 90 pounds of pressure to the head and neck of the baby as it is being yanked out of the womb. Imagine that this child may then have problems with physical pain that her mother never knows about. Mom may then naturally feel inadequate and worry all the time over why her baby cries when picked up and their relationship could easily be compromised as a result.
What about the effects in utero on the baby of parents arguing all the time? What about the baby whose mother does not want him?
Even a ‘normal’ birth in the ‘50s and ‘60s, and before was highly traumatic–with the bright lights, noises, slap on the butt, rough handling, and routine separation from mom.
I believe that pregnant moms need to clear their own birth traumas if they want to have a healthy birth themselves. Hypnosis can help a great deal with this process, as it can give a new mother images and visions of a normal, peaceful, healthy birth that have countless effects on her mind, body, and emotions.
Pregnancy Should Be Peaceful
I feel it is essential to enlarge our views of pregnancy and birth to constantly remind ourselves that the privilege of giving birth is one of the highest and holiest on Earth.
A great Teacher was once asked how we can have healthy children. He said something to the effect of: While pregnant, walk quietly in nature a great deal. Dial your stress down to zero. Be in silence as much as possible. Walk on the banks of a peaceful river. Keep your mind trained on elevated thoughts.
I followed this advice and my daughter was extraordinarily healthy. She had no more than two colds her entire childhood. No flu, no earaches, no sore throats. And, yes, she went to school with all those germs.
Ideally our pregnancies should be peaceful times. When pregnant, we are in the process of miraculous creation. It makes sense to concentrate on the marvel of this creation above all other concerns. It makes sense that the more we concentrate on peace, walk in peace, and lower our stress, that our babies can only be stronger, more intelligent, and healthier as a result.
I would consider it a high honor to support you while pregnant and in the ensuing years that follow birth. I would support you with the reminder of the sacredness of your mission, with clearing any birth trauma you might have experienced, with knowledge of developmental milestones, with activities, and with my 43 years of professional and personal parenting experience.